sometimes the truth hurts. and sometimes the truth is reeaally funny.
http://current.com/items/89891774/twouble_with_twitters.htm
i lol'ed.
Hello world!
5 years ago
2.4.09
23.3.09
a bulleted list
- going to yakima today to do some work for abiel's dad
- i'll probably be back wednesday
- i'll probably be eating at burger ranch at least once while i'm there
- went to portland this weekend; much fun and many hotdogs were had
- the first walmart opened on july 2, which is my birthday
- i also share a birthday with brett "hitman" hart
- today is ivar haglund's birthday and you can get an entree at his restaurant for 104 cents
- today marks my first contribution to the mixtapergy blog
- buying a new toothbrush this weekend, will post sexy details later
- stay tuned.
26.2.09
GUEST BLOGGER
SUP GUYS??
take a second to relax to bobross.fm
oh hey look at this
i'm gonna go to a cabin this weekend and make lots of eggs! eggs benedict and eggs florentine! and hash browns!
and it will be GLORIOUS!
take a second to relax to bobross.fm
oh hey look at this
i'm gonna go to a cabin this weekend and make lots of eggs! eggs benedict and eggs florentine! and hash browns!
and it will be GLORIOUS!
19.2.09
"yeah i'm a hit at parties"
some people (read: pretty much every human being that works on my floor) were having issues with the new cardreader on the door outside my office. see, it's actually a problem with the door--the cardreader is supposed to release the strike flange on the door jamb upon a successful swipe, but depending on how hard the door was shut previously, sometimes the latch gets hung up on the flange and you can't pull the door open. i got really sick of hearing everyone struggling and yanking on the door all goddamn day so i constructed this handy flowchart and stuck it on the door.
so far it appears to be working. i was quick enough to get this bad boy cranked out in time for the breakfast club, which was fortunate, as the smell of pancakes and bacon causes a massive influx of people to my floor. hardly any of them appear to be having issues with the door, so consider this bitch solved (this is why they pay me the big bucks).
case closed; mant out.
(click to embiggen)
so far it appears to be working. i was quick enough to get this bad boy cranked out in time for the breakfast club, which was fortunate, as the smell of pancakes and bacon causes a massive influx of people to my floor. hardly any of them appear to be having issues with the door, so consider this bitch solved (this is why they pay me the big bucks).
case closed; mant out.
18.2.09
oh jesus god
found my waterbottle after about 2 months of sitting 99 percent empty, 1 percent full of protein shake.
barf.
i'm pretty sure i've successfully washed it all out of there, but i can't tell if i can still actually smell the smell or if it's just permanently seared into my brain.
barf.
i'm pretty sure i've successfully washed it all out of there, but i can't tell if i can still actually smell the smell or if it's just permanently seared into my brain.
hella
ok, i want to tell you about 2 things that are rad.
our first submission comes from youtube courtesy of pruane2forever. you may have seen this kid calling out 50 Cent for being a media whore in one of his vlogs, prefaced with the disclaimer "no haters, please!"
apparently he is working on a film project called "crossed paths" that is broken up into several parts. i actually wanted to blog about this last night, so great was my exitement, but for reasons i won't get into here i had to wait until now. without further ado, i am glad to present to you part one of what I hope is many parts to come:
i'm really excited for part 2: revenge of the fallen. pruane, if you're reading this, please: make haste.
also, the high point of my morning so far is the discovery of dinosaurs fucking robots. yeah, it's been a pretty slow morning. i expect big things from you as well, dinosaursfuckingrobots.com. don't let me down.
our first submission comes from youtube courtesy of pruane2forever. you may have seen this kid calling out 50 Cent for being a media whore in one of his vlogs, prefaced with the disclaimer "no haters, please!"
apparently he is working on a film project called "crossed paths" that is broken up into several parts. i actually wanted to blog about this last night, so great was my exitement, but for reasons i won't get into here i had to wait until now. without further ado, i am glad to present to you part one of what I hope is many parts to come:
i'm really excited for part 2: revenge of the fallen. pruane, if you're reading this, please: make haste.
also, the high point of my morning so far is the discovery of dinosaurs fucking robots. yeah, it's been a pretty slow morning. i expect big things from you as well, dinosaursfuckingrobots.com. don't let me down.
12.2.09
showdown
the gauntlet has been thrown.
billy mays has called out my man vince offer because he feels vince is ripping off billy's style and products. mays is SERIOUS about this. in this vid he tells vince that he will out-pitch him any day.
i REALLY want to see these two titans go head to head. personally i got my money on vince for pure charisma but billy mays has got his name to trade on.
keep talkin shit, billy, you're makin him famous...
billy mays has called out my man vince offer because he feels vince is ripping off billy's style and products. mays is SERIOUS about this. in this vid he tells vince that he will out-pitch him any day.
i REALLY want to see these two titans go head to head. personally i got my money on vince for pure charisma but billy mays has got his name to trade on.
keep talkin shit, billy, you're makin him famous...
2.2.09
26.1.09
a real conversation
first day with a new phone.
me: this is like the 3rd person who's come by asking me what apps i have for my phone
David: where are you? work?
me: yeah
fucking annoying
i'm going to get a nokia
David: tell them you have the "annoying coworker app"
me: HAHA
20.1.09
16.1.09
FLOG: island soul
wednesday we were gonna hit up la medusa for their prix fixe menu--$25 for an appetizer, a main couscous dish, and dessert--but they were closed. booty.
instead we ultimately ended up going down the street to island soul, a caribbean place that apparently gets mad props from the seattle PI, seattle weekly, the stranger, seattle magazine, et al. we walked in and were impressed by the relaxed atmosphere, good music, and the extremely appealing smell of cooking food--unlike the place we had walked into and promptly out of 5 minutes prior, which had terrible music, wierd decor, and smelled like no one had eaten there all day. as over half of our standard FLOG crew was absent (i'm looking at you, teebah, lynsey, kevin) we didn't order a lot of dishes, but we were pretty satisfied with what we did order.
we started off with the yam fries, which were excellent--i've had sweet potato fries before at various restaurants, and they were definitely enjoyable, but i'd have to say the yam fries at
island soul trumped most of the offerings i've had elsewhere. i usually prefer the outside of my fries to be crispy, and while these were not prepared that way, it did not negatively affect my opinion of the fries at all; indeed, the insides were perfectly cooked. the yams were served with a jerk mayonnaise which set off the flavor of the fries quite nicely. the mayo itself had a pleasant, medium heat, with a strong flavor reminiscent of pickled ginger. i asked carla, our server, if there was in fact any ginger in the mayo, but was unable to get a straight answer out of her; her concern over the possibility of me having a ginger allergy led me to believe my analysis was probably correct.
the second appetizer we ordered were the "little islands," which were like little dumplings
made from corn dough filled with black beans, topped with feta cheese and guacamole. they were very good; the beans were well seasoned and the feta was applied sparingly enough to impart flavor without being overpowering. the dumplings themselves had a good texture and were reminiscent of tamale dough. om nom nom nom.
the rest of the food came. drew ordered the soul in a bowl,
which is essentially a sampler trio of some of the meat dishes they have on offer at island soul: oxtail, curried goat, and jerk chicken; the dish also comes with 'rice and peas' which is really just basmati rice with some red beans thrown in. i'd recommend this for a first foray into either caribbean food as a whole or at this particular establishment; the dish happened to have a taste of almost everything else that we ordered with the exception of the oxtail.
emily ordered the jerk chicken, which (as the name implies)
is rubbed in jerk seasoning and then slow cooked in a smoker. I tried a few bites; it was deliciously cooked--well seasoned, very smoky, and tender. the smoke flavor did not overpower the jerk seasoning. i'd probably order this if i were to go back. the dish was also served with rice and peas and collard greens.
i ordered the curried goat, as i'd had goat before and really enjoyed it. i'm also a big curry fan, so i figured this would be doubly good.
this ultimately was not to be, although the flavor of the curry was decent, if a bit anise-y. the goat dish itself largely consisted of bones and if i had to guess i would say that most of those bones probably originated in the backbone, as i can't really think of any other type of bone that has interlocking pieces. the meat tasted fine but having to break apart and pick meat off of small bones really didn't do a whole lot to enhance my enjoyment of the meal. on the other hand, the collard greens were some of the best i've ever had, and the rice and peas (which seems to be a consistent presence in any dish served at island soul) made a tasty pairing with whatever curry did not consist of goat spine.
some other highlights of the meal were the cornbread muffins and a habanero aioli. the muffins had grated coconut in them and were almost cakelike in consistency; the coconut added some sweetness and crunch (we took it upon ourselves to give a little character to the muffins with a yam fry and a couple of red beans). andrew noted that the cornbread was complimented very well by the sauce that came with the oxtail, which i unfortunately did not actually try myself. the aioli, we were warned, was "very hot" 
and it was recommended to us that we only dip a single tine of our fork in it to make sure we could handle the heat. it more or less lived up to the hype, as the recommended dose provided eyebrow-raising heat, and a more liberal application caused my eyes to sweat a little.
i'd recommend island soul, as the food is pretty good. i'll probably go back again sometime in the near future myself. the average price per plate is maybe a little bit more than i would have expected to pay, but the service is good, the atmosphere is quite enjoyable, and the food is good overall. i had a less than stellar experience with the goat but i'd say that was more of a luck-of-the-draw thing than anything else; i highly doubt the restaurant uses ONLY goat spine in that dish, and the veggies were all excellent. check it out on your birthday, as carla gives a rousing rendition of happy birthday that will shake you to your very core.
island soul is located in columbia city at 4869 ranier ave s; seattle WA, 98118.
instead we ultimately ended up going down the street to island soul, a caribbean place that apparently gets mad props from the seattle PI, seattle weekly, the stranger, seattle magazine, et al. we walked in and were impressed by the relaxed atmosphere, good music, and the extremely appealing smell of cooking food--unlike the place we had walked into and promptly out of 5 minutes prior, which had terrible music, wierd decor, and smelled like no one had eaten there all day. as over half of our standard FLOG crew was absent (i'm looking at you, teebah, lynsey, kevin) we didn't order a lot of dishes, but we were pretty satisfied with what we did order.
we started off with the yam fries, which were excellent--i've had sweet potato fries before at various restaurants, and they were definitely enjoyable, but i'd have to say the yam fries at
island soul trumped most of the offerings i've had elsewhere. i usually prefer the outside of my fries to be crispy, and while these were not prepared that way, it did not negatively affect my opinion of the fries at all; indeed, the insides were perfectly cooked. the yams were served with a jerk mayonnaise which set off the flavor of the fries quite nicely. the mayo itself had a pleasant, medium heat, with a strong flavor reminiscent of pickled ginger. i asked carla, our server, if there was in fact any ginger in the mayo, but was unable to get a straight answer out of her; her concern over the possibility of me having a ginger allergy led me to believe my analysis was probably correct. the second appetizer we ordered were the "little islands," which were like little dumplings
made from corn dough filled with black beans, topped with feta cheese and guacamole. they were very good; the beans were well seasoned and the feta was applied sparingly enough to impart flavor without being overpowering. the dumplings themselves had a good texture and were reminiscent of tamale dough. om nom nom nom.the rest of the food came. drew ordered the soul in a bowl,
which is essentially a sampler trio of some of the meat dishes they have on offer at island soul: oxtail, curried goat, and jerk chicken; the dish also comes with 'rice and peas' which is really just basmati rice with some red beans thrown in. i'd recommend this for a first foray into either caribbean food as a whole or at this particular establishment; the dish happened to have a taste of almost everything else that we ordered with the exception of the oxtail.emily ordered the jerk chicken, which (as the name implies)
is rubbed in jerk seasoning and then slow cooked in a smoker. I tried a few bites; it was deliciously cooked--well seasoned, very smoky, and tender. the smoke flavor did not overpower the jerk seasoning. i'd probably order this if i were to go back. the dish was also served with rice and peas and collard greens.i ordered the curried goat, as i'd had goat before and really enjoyed it. i'm also a big curry fan, so i figured this would be doubly good.
this ultimately was not to be, although the flavor of the curry was decent, if a bit anise-y. the goat dish itself largely consisted of bones and if i had to guess i would say that most of those bones probably originated in the backbone, as i can't really think of any other type of bone that has interlocking pieces. the meat tasted fine but having to break apart and pick meat off of small bones really didn't do a whole lot to enhance my enjoyment of the meal. on the other hand, the collard greens were some of the best i've ever had, and the rice and peas (which seems to be a consistent presence in any dish served at island soul) made a tasty pairing with whatever curry did not consist of goat spine.some other highlights of the meal were the cornbread muffins and a habanero aioli. the muffins had grated coconut in them and were almost cakelike in consistency; the coconut added some sweetness and crunch (we took it upon ourselves to give a little character to the muffins with a yam fry and a couple of red beans). andrew noted that the cornbread was complimented very well by the sauce that came with the oxtail, which i unfortunately did not actually try myself. the aioli, we were warned, was "very hot" and it was recommended to us that we only dip a single tine of our fork in it to make sure we could handle the heat. it more or less lived up to the hype, as the recommended dose provided eyebrow-raising heat, and a more liberal application caused my eyes to sweat a little.i'd recommend island soul, as the food is pretty good. i'll probably go back again sometime in the near future myself. the average price per plate is maybe a little bit more than i would have expected to pay, but the service is good, the atmosphere is quite enjoyable, and the food is good overall. i had a less than stellar experience with the goat but i'd say that was more of a luck-of-the-draw thing than anything else; i highly doubt the restaurant uses ONLY goat spine in that dish, and the veggies were all excellent. check it out on your birthday, as carla gives a rousing rendition of happy birthday that will shake you to your very core.
island soul is located in columbia city at 4869 ranier ave s; seattle WA, 98118.
15.1.09
HOLY SHIT
ALRIGHT SO CHECK THIS OUT
i've got an idea for my first screenplay.
we were talking about actor duos unlikely to appear onscreen together and someone said that daniel craig and jason statham will never be in a movie because they're too similar but think about this movie idea.
it stars daniel craig...and jason statham
in
TANGO AND CASH
cast keeley hazell as katherine "kiki" tango--teri hatcher's former role--and you've got yourself a real winner.
check out my re-imagning of this scene:
END FUCKING SCENE.
anyway. you heard it here first.
i've got an idea for my first screenplay.
we were talking about actor duos unlikely to appear onscreen together and someone said that daniel craig and jason statham will never be in a movie because they're too similar but think about this movie idea.
it stars daniel craig...and jason statham
in
TANGO AND CASH
think about it. you wouldn't really have to change the plot much; just set it in the UK and you're golden. 2 top chief inspectors on the city of london police force can't stand each other, but they've both been set up and have to work together
to clear their name as well as exact justice on the crime syndicate that's framed them for murder.
daniel craig (AKA james bond #5, duh) would be perfect as the slick, refined-yet-badass ray tango. and naturally the reckless, rough-and-tumble gabriel cash would be played by jason statham (AKA mr. fuck-a-woman-in-the-middle-of-a-huge-crowd-in-chinatown-because-i-need-adrenaline-to-stay-alive). dudes wouldn't even really need to get into character; they could just reprise their roles from casino royale/quantum of solace and crank/transporter 1/2/3, respectively.
cast keeley hazell as katherine "kiki" tango--teri hatcher's former role--and you've got yourself a real winner.
check out my re-imagning of this scene:
COP 1:
we've checked the whole lorry, arsehole--there's nothin in it! and you're out of your neighborhood, big city chap! i want your badge, i want your weapon, i want your ARSE! who the fuck do you think you are???
COP 2:
[scoffs] 'e thinks 'e's james bond.
TANGO:
james bond...is a pussy.
[tango shoots tanker truck, cocaine pours out the side]TANGO:
whattya know. it's snowing.
[tastes cocaine]TANGO:
anyone wanna get high?
END FUCKING SCENE.
man i swear. if they can make a reboot of the fast and the furious then they can sure as HELL reboot tango and cash.
14.1.09
taxing
IRS tax code WTF: "Other Income"
some tips for the less-than-scrupulous, courtesy of the internal revenue service:
good to know.
some tips for the less-than-scrupulous, courtesy of the internal revenue service:
Bribes. If you receive a bribe, include it in your income.
Illegal activities. Income from illegal activities, such as money from dealing illegal drugs, must be included in your income on Form 1040, line 21, or on Schedule C or Schedule C-EZ (Form 1040) if from your self-employment activity.
Stolen property. If you steal property, you must report its fair market value in your income in the year you steal it unless in the same year, you return it to its rightful owner.
good to know.
12.1.09
best of CL 2009: #0001
this is the best CLMC of 2009.
[EDIT: at the time i originally posted this i somehow neglected to realize that craigslist is too much of a gold mine to call this "the best post of 2009;" i understand now that this is but the first of much excellence to come. i have changed this post's title to reflect this new understanding and apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.]
[EDIT: at the time i originally posted this i somehow neglected to realize that craigslist is too much of a gold mine to call this "the best post of 2009;" i understand now that this is but the first of much excellence to come. i have changed this post's title to reflect this new understanding and apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.]
8.1.09
whopperhouse
normally i'm not a huge fan of facebook applications and i have a tendency to look down my nose at merchants that social networking sites for "viral marketing" but burger king is a different story. the thought of getting a free whopper just to cut some peeps from my facebook was too tasty to pass up.
i didnt know i needed to prove my love of the whopper. i was actually sort of under the impression that everyone already knew that i love whoppers.
whatever, now i get to wait 2 to 4 weeks to be mailed my paper coupon that i probably won't even end up using. shit.
i'm a sucker
6.1.09
/g/ killed macrumors
firsts!
meanwhile, this thread is making me lol: MacRumors Hacked?
was watching a live feed of the macworld expo keynote at macrumors.com when suddenly this happens...
now a bunch of people at my work on the "cult of mac" email list are griping about macrumors getting taken down due to their live coverage feed getting hacked by /b/. aww.
hint: it was actually /g/. just for the record.
hint: it was actually /g/. just for the record.
this appears to be the root of the problem (literally) :
you'd think macrumor's site admins would know better...
meanwhile, this thread is making me lol: MacRumors Hacked?
Clearly when something goes wrong on the internet, "hacked" is what happened. Sometimes thread titles are just as bad as news reports on cnn.com.
- SilentPanda, macrumors Demi-God
2.1.09
stop having a boring life
"you're gonna love my nuts."
meet my new favorite infomercial. i used to really dig on the rotato infomercial but that was a long time ago and truth be told i'm not really into potatoes that much. this is definitely better, plus you get the graty for free!
if you ain't up on your infomercials, this man's name is vince offer and he's the same pitchman in the shamwow ad which was also excellent.
i love that this skeezy parking lot huckster is making excellent ads like this. my prediction for 2009 is that vince offer eclipses billy mays as the king of direct response marketing. and those of you all like "oh man but what about popeil" you need to get with the times. yeah my family had a showtime rotisserie and i can respect the man as an inventor but he's not relevant in the game anymore. i'm betting billy mays will become a victim of his own popularity and will stop producing new infomercials--he's yelling about everything from ESPN350 to health insurance to Miracle Whip (an excellent and delicious product that i also endorse). vince's whole condescending "this product is basically shit but you're still an idiot if you don't buy it" vibe is very engaging. all someone has to do is put vince behind a product that can make more than half a cup of chopped whatever at a time and he will blow up huge.
ifart
apparently dave spent a dollar and got the ifart app. he said it was the worst dollar he's ever spent but i'm forced to disagree with him.
its like this: yeah, on one hand i can't believe people (almost 39,000 in one day) pay money for fart sounds, but on the other hand, it's only a dollar. besides, farts are funny.
according to netapplication's data on iphone's market share of internet usage the iphone has 0.44% of the market as of the end of december. if the current trend keeps up (and i don't see why it wouldn't, at least not for a little while) the potential audience for new apps is only going to increase over time.
while it's it's a cool idea that with the success of the iphone and ipod touch it's becoming more and more possible for an increasing number of people to see this kind of spike in the success of their idea (given that an application meets the app store standards), it's a bit off-putting to think that the most cost effective way to appeal to the the least common denominator of this particular audience is "fart noises." although i guess i can't really say i'm surprised.
[EDIT: i was high out of my fucking mind when i wrote this; disregard.]
its like this: yeah, on one hand i can't believe people (almost 39,000 in one day) pay money for fart sounds, but on the other hand, it's only a dollar. besides, farts are funny.
according to netapplication's data on iphone's market share of internet usage the iphone has 0.44% of the market as of the end of december. if the current trend keeps up (and i don't see why it wouldn't, at least not for a little while) the potential audience for new apps is only going to increase over time.
while it's it's a cool idea that with the success of the iphone and ipod touch it's becoming more and more possible for an increasing number of people to see this kind of spike in the success of their idea (given that an application meets the app store standards), it's a bit off-putting to think that the most cost effective way to appeal to the the least common denominator of this particular audience is "fart noises." although i guess i can't really say i'm surprised.
[EDIT: i was high out of my fucking mind when i wrote this; disregard.]
1.1.09
one joke
if you read this more than 3 days and 20 hours after it's posted, you might be SOL (especially if the auction gets taken down after it ends), but for those who stay up on their blogroll, peep this:
One Joke (ebay)
it appears that a staff writer at the onion is having a hard time with a joke he came up with.
i hope someone i know wins this because i really want to hear it.
One Joke (ebay)
it appears that a staff writer at the onion is having a hard time with a joke he came up with.
I am selling a joke that I can't find a contextual home for. To be fair, it's less of a joke and more of a dated, Capote-esque cocktail party bon mot, but decidedly more feeble. The best one can reasonably expect from this item is a self-satisfied chuckle, such as can be observed issuing from someone wearing a turtleneck while reading the Harper's Index. If that didn't make you barf, please continue reading.
i hope someone i know wins this because i really want to hear it.
REFRESH
i haven't slept in 37 hours. i don't know how much longer i can hold out. i'm shooting for tomorrow night (just because) but i don't think i have enough stimulants to get me all the way through.
2008 ended in the BIGGEST psych out i have ever had and i totally did it to myself!
short version:
i tricked myself into thinking my d80 AND my work laptop got stolen out of my car BUT IT TURNED OUT NOT TO BE TRUE AT ALL!
[EDIT: was too tired last night to type more of an explanation than what you see above; see comments for more deets]
it was for sure the worst day I can remember having all year...and the big reveal was one of the raddest, best surprises/high points i can remember having all year.
i'm an idiot.
nice knowing you, 2008.
whats up, 09?
2008 ended in the BIGGEST psych out i have ever had and i totally did it to myself!
short version:
i tricked myself into thinking my d80 AND my work laptop got stolen out of my car BUT IT TURNED OUT NOT TO BE TRUE AT ALL!
[EDIT: was too tired last night to type more of an explanation than what you see above; see comments for more deets]
it was for sure the worst day I can remember having all year...and the big reveal was one of the raddest, best surprises/high points i can remember having all year.
i'm an idiot.
nice knowing you, 2008.
whats up, 09?
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