take a second to relax to bobross.fm

oh hey look at this

i'm gonna go to a cabin this weekend and make lots of eggs! eggs benedict and eggs florentine! and hash browns!

and it will be GLORIOUS!


"yeah i'm a hit at parties"

some people (read: pretty much every human being that works on my floor) were having issues with the new cardreader on the door outside my office. see, it's actually a problem with the door--the cardreader is supposed to release the strike flange on the door jamb upon a successful swipe, but depending on how hard the door was shut previously, sometimes the latch gets hung up on the flange and you can't pull the door open. i got really sick of hearing everyone struggling and yanking on the door all goddamn day so i constructed this handy flowchart and stuck it on the door.

(click to embiggen)

so far it appears to be working. i was quick enough to get this bad boy cranked out in time for the breakfast club, which was fortunate, as the smell of pancakes and bacon causes a massive influx of people to my floor. hardly any of them appear to be having issues with the door, so consider this bitch solved (this is why they pay me the big bucks).

case closed; mant out.


oh jesus god

found my waterbottle after about 2 months of sitting 99 percent empty, 1 percent full of protein shake.


i'm pretty sure i've successfully washed it all out of there, but i can't tell if i can still actually smell the smell or if it's just permanently seared into my brain.


ok, i want to tell you about 2 things that are rad.

our first submission comes from youtube courtesy of pruane2forever. you may have seen this kid calling out 50 Cent for being a media whore in one of his vlogs, prefaced with the disclaimer "no haters, please!"

apparently he is working on a film project called "crossed paths" that is broken up into several parts. i actually wanted to blog about this last night, so great was my exitement, but for reasons i won't get into here i had to wait until now. without further ado, i am glad to present to you part one of what I hope is many parts to come:

i'm really excited for part 2: revenge of the fallen. pruane, if you're reading this, please: make haste.

also, the high point of my morning so far is the discovery of dinosaurs fucking robots. yeah, it's been a pretty slow morning. i expect big things from you as well, dinosaursfuckingrobots.com. don't let me down.



the gauntlet has been thrown.

billy mays has called out my man vince offer because he feels vince is ripping off billy's style and products. mays is SERIOUS about this. in this vid he tells vince that he will out-pitch him any day.

i REALLY want to see these two titans go head to head. personally i got my money on vince for pure charisma but billy mays has got his name to trade on.

keep talkin shit, billy, you're makin him famous...